StacyCat’s World of Thought

While researching an unrelated shipping question, I came across this:

(Shipping to Ireland):
“Circulars or advertisements relating to the prevention or treatment of venereal disease must be addressed to physicians or pharmacists. ”

I have no idea what purpose this serves. Any clues?

This was written in response to Rona’s Post about STIs. It got far too long for just a comment, so I posted it here. As always, feel free to disagree and argue with me.

I think that everyone should set their own boundaries regarding safer sex. I also think that is important to discuss these boundaries with partners and potential partners. I think that people who think that “oral sex” is completely safe are deluding themselves and they should educate themselves.

However, I, personally, do not require barriers during oral sex for most people. Sometimes I do, and this is one of the reasons why I love queer play parties is because they are expected. But, the majority of the time, I do not use them. I use condoms for vaginal and anal intercourse, and everything else is up for negotiation. I also play at the highest rate of safer sex required by all of the people involved. I think that oral is a low enough risk that I am okay with getting an STI by not using barriers for oral.

(Which is my basic premise of safer sex, which is to know the risks, and choose what you and your partners are comfortable with.)

I also think that *everyone* is responsible for educating themselves about the risks of STIs, and to set their own levels of play that they are comfortable with (and that their partners are comfortable with.) These risks vary by person and couple and group. It is not that one is more or less “safe,” it is that the individuals involved have made a choice. Hopefully, it is an educated one.

Some are comfortable with having sex with someone with herpes (I am as well depending on circumstances), and I know several people who would think that is inherently unsafe. I know people that require tests from their new partners, but have a very extensive fluid bonded network. I know people like me who have unprotected oral sex. I even know people that think that *I* am an unsafe risk because I use condoms for intercourse, and that if I did not use condoms I would *choose better partners* and thus be at a lower risk. (BTW, the latter came out of the swinger community, which is one of the many reasons why I left that scene.)

In short, we all take sexual risks. Some of us are just comfortable with more and/or different risks.

I am fat. I also am into BDSM.

Recently, there have been a couple of posts that I have read about this intersection.

First, Mollena writes the FatGirl Pervert Rants. See, at most BDSM educational events, there are demonstrations of techniques. And there is a call for demo bottoms. Of which, the majority tend to be smaller and younger women. The “scene” itself tends to be mostly older and average to larger individuals. Yet, we buy into the societal myth that younger and smaller is better, so we only see BDSM demonstrated on smaller individuals.

I happen to like fat BDSM. Our skin compresses differently in rope and bondage. Our fat jiggles in cool ways during impact play. We have lots of points that can be poked and pinched and bitten. And, of course, we have lots of skin and sensitive areas for those soft and fluffy scenes.

“But,” you might ask. “Arent there scenes that fat people cant do? Like, being suspended with rope?” Nope. This is a post that debunks the myths that fat people cannot be suspended. Granted, as a fat person who is into suspension, I want to know that the suspension rig will support my weight. Besides that, there is no reason why my fat ass cant be suspended (And, I have been, Twice, by the lovely Lolita

Ammre writes about how fat women are portrayed within the BDSM scene. And now it is us that can spread the message that, yes, fat women are in the scene, and yes, we have awesome bondage and impact and rope and other sadistic scenes. And we even have awesome sex!

I am sad that we live in a world that does not believe this.

Yes, I have fallen victim to this. I had a hard time accepting my changing body, and the sagging skin that came along with it. Watching a porn that Gabe and Elizabeth from Pornocracy made really helped. Elizabeth had recently gone through the same sort of body transformation as I had. And, watching her on the screen, and seeing how beautiful she was while having sex, made me realize how seeing non model type bodies makes things more real and beautiful for me.

I have been in discussions with a few people about a book project with models of all types, especially those that have been ignored by “mainstream.” How many people would be interested in a project like this? Either buying the finished product or modeling for it?

I am having issues.

I always have issues My issues are a very integral part of who I am. But these issues are how I want to present myself.

I started this blog as a sex blog. Both because I was having awesome sex, and that this was previously my porn domain, and because I wanted to have an in with the NYC porn bloggers.

Now that I am in a relationship? I do not necessarily want to talk about the awesome sex that I am having. It would make an awesome porno, and very hot erotica. But, I do not write erotica very well.

I have stated many places that I am a statistics and research geek. I am also very passionate about many topics, including size and fat acceptance, general acceptance of all individuals and groups, and how sex positive thinking will change the world.

I also feel like a fraud when talking about these topics. I advocate not discriminating against those with STIs, which is contrary to every safer sex message out there. I advocate thinking in sociological and statistical terms, which is contrary to the individualistic nature that most Americans have. I argue for fat and size acceptance, which is the hardest one to get through to people.

Is blogging about this worth it? Will constantly fighting against current wisdom be a worthy struggle for me? Wouldnt my life just be happier if I accepted the status quo and stopped fighting?

I say no, as much pain and grief it would give me.