I read a blog article on MySexProfessor.com about “Can women have sex like men.” (Quoting from the article: “in the context of how women can or whether they should have sex without emotion or with anyone they want.”)
First, yes, women can.
The article first discussed the many ways how physically sex is different for women than for men, namely in the risks, aka how women can be more suseptiple to STIs because of the different structures of our anatomy.
Then, the article discussed how women typically view sex as more emotional and vulnerable than men do. She says “Although sex is not always tied up with feelings of love, attachment or commitment, let’s face it: women, more often than men, often hope something will come from a friends-with-benefits situation.” (Grr, gender stereotypes).
Secondly, why are we equating casual sex with men? The idea that men have sex simply as a physical act, with little to no emotion or intimacy or vulnerability seems absurd. Sure, there are many of us, of any gender, that can have a quick casual emotionless satisfying fuck. But, I am sure there are a much larger number of us, of any gender, that get our emotions involved in our sex, or we *gasp* care about our partners, even if they are casual. There is a brief paragraph towards the end of the article discussing how men do enjoy, and often prefer, sex within relationships or with people that they care about.
There is this idea of “othering” that happens quite a bit around sex and kink. It happens in real life as well, in that we create this Straw Man type argument, and argue against (or imagine) a mythical figment of our imaginations that has little basis in reality. Yes, there may be people out to get us. There may be men who do have sex like “stereotypical men,” but the vast majority do not. Yet, by continuing to discuss these stereotypes, we continue to create the social reification of gender norms that continue to hold everyone back.
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