StacyCat’s World of Thought

I am going to be buying hosting. I will also be transforming stacycat.com into something slightly different.

I have heard a few good things about GoDaddy hosting(mainly, good friends and my Partner have their hosting there). And my domains are from there. But, I am willing to entertain other options.

Musts that I want in Hosting:
Wordpress.org
multiple domains
good uptime
ability to have a commercial site
ability to have adult content/pornography
Easy to use interface
Reasonably cheap

Wants
Ability to pay in a lump sum for 6 months or a year and/or discounts for paying in a lump sum.
Possible to create a “members only” area on multiple domains.

Is there anything that I am missing that I should have on either list? Do yall have any other recommendations on hosting that I should look into?

I am fat. I also am into BDSM.

Recently, there have been a couple of posts that I have read about this intersection.

First, Mollena writes the FatGirl Pervert Rants. See, at most BDSM educational events, there are demonstrations of techniques. And there is a call for demo bottoms. Of which, the majority tend to be smaller and younger women. The “scene” itself tends to be mostly older and average to larger individuals. Yet, we buy into the societal myth that younger and smaller is better, so we only see BDSM demonstrated on smaller individuals.

I happen to like fat BDSM. Our skin compresses differently in rope and bondage. Our fat jiggles in cool ways during impact play. We have lots of points that can be poked and pinched and bitten. And, of course, we have lots of skin and sensitive areas for those soft and fluffy scenes.

“But,” you might ask. “Arent there scenes that fat people cant do? Like, being suspended with rope?” Nope. This is a post that debunks the myths that fat people cannot be suspended. Granted, as a fat person who is into suspension, I want to know that the suspension rig will support my weight. Besides that, there is no reason why my fat ass cant be suspended (And, I have been, Twice, by the lovely Lolita

Ammre writes about how fat women are portrayed within the BDSM scene. And now it is us that can spread the message that, yes, fat women are in the scene, and yes, we have awesome bondage and impact and rope and other sadistic scenes. And we even have awesome sex!

I am sad that we live in a world that does not believe this.

Yes, I have fallen victim to this. I had a hard time accepting my changing body, and the sagging skin that came along with it. Watching a porn that Gabe and Elizabeth from Pornocracy made really helped. Elizabeth had recently gone through the same sort of body transformation as I had. And, watching her on the screen, and seeing how beautiful she was while having sex, made me realize how seeing non model type bodies makes things more real and beautiful for me.

I have been in discussions with a few people about a book project with models of all types, especially those that have been ignored by “mainstream.” How many people would be interested in a project like this? Either buying the finished product or modeling for it?

I am having issues.

I always have issues My issues are a very integral part of who I am. But these issues are how I want to present myself.

I started this blog as a sex blog. Both because I was having awesome sex, and that this was previously my porn domain, and because I wanted to have an in with the NYC porn bloggers.

Now that I am in a relationship? I do not necessarily want to talk about the awesome sex that I am having. It would make an awesome porno, and very hot erotica. But, I do not write erotica very well.

I have stated many places that I am a statistics and research geek. I am also very passionate about many topics, including size and fat acceptance, general acceptance of all individuals and groups, and how sex positive thinking will change the world.

I also feel like a fraud when talking about these topics. I advocate not discriminating against those with STIs, which is contrary to every safer sex message out there. I advocate thinking in sociological and statistical terms, which is contrary to the individualistic nature that most Americans have. I argue for fat and size acceptance, which is the hardest one to get through to people.

Is blogging about this worth it? Will constantly fighting against current wisdom be a worthy struggle for me? Wouldnt my life just be happier if I accepted the status quo and stopped fighting?

I say no, as much pain and grief it would give me.

STI Stigma Rant

My Kink For All #kfanyc presentation is up! Yay!

Basically, this is a 20 minute discussion about STIs, how they are viewed in sex positive society, and how things could possibly change. I am still working on a much more succinct way to present the topic, but it is necessarily complex and intrinsic.

I have also signed up to help unorganize #kfanyc2 . While I cannot devote much time to this until May, I am on the lookout for places to hold the event I loved The Center, and it is certainly a possibility, but I want to explore other options. I will gladly take other suggestions.

More on this topic later

I did a presentation on STI and sexual risks at KinkForAll New York (#kfanyc). That is a post that you will probably see in May

But, first, a clarification of my viewpoint of sexual risks and risk taking behavior.

First, the viewpoint that I often take when it comes to sexual risk. Dan Savage (who you can love to hate) wrote this in his April 1 column.

Finally, people take calculated risks all the time for pleasures less essential than sex. You’re assuming a certain degree of risk—of injury, of death—every time you get in a car, go skiing, or order the chicken. We do what we can to minimize those risks (buckle the fuck up, wear a helmet, don’t order your chicken rare), but we don’t hold up deaths on highways, slopes, or at the dinner table as evidence that people who even think of driving, skiing, or chickening have to be out of their minds.

This is essentially what I view as sexual risk and reward. I calculate the risks that I am willing to take, and take them. I assume that everyone else does as well, so I make my own risk determinations, and do not make risk assessments for other people. And, when I am deciding to have sex with someone, I go through many of these risk factors in my head, and make my decision.

We do so many other things in our lives that are dangerous, yet we do them without blinking. About 37,000 people die in car crashes, yet we still take cars. Or, we take other forms of transportation that are safer, such as walking, subways and airplanes. Our wanting to travel outweighs the possible risks of dying while traveling. We can choose to drive without seatbelts at 100 mph, or we can choose to drive with seatbelts, or we can choose to travel another method. But, the option of “not traveling” is one that is not a viable option for the majority of the people.

In short: one should be aware of the sexual risks that they are taking, and balance that with the reward of their activity. For some, the risks of sex are not worth it, and they obstain. For others, the risks of sexual intimacy are extremely rewarding, and will outweigh most of the sexual risks.

Choose wisely.